Monday, January 28, 2013

Chenda and the Airship Brofman

Today's post is on 'Chenda and the Airship Brofman' by Emilie P. Bush. It is an independently published by the author. It is 315 pages long. The cover is white with outline of a woman dressed in a steampunky way. There Be Spoilers Ahead.

From the back of the book- When Wealth and Charm Fail... An Airship and the Gods Prevail!
Chanda Frost happily lived as a spectator in her own life until her husband Edison, a recluse war hero, was murdered. Caught in a mystery about her destiny, she boards an airship with Geologist Candice Mortimer for an adventure in the air, across a desert, through a mountain and under the sea. Along the way she loses everything she's ever known but gains true friendship and a formidable gift from the gods.

Review- Okay first things first. Bush is an independent author, I know that some people look down on them. Unfortunately this book does nothing to help indie authors and books. The plot is not bad. Really it is okay but it needs help. The whole book needs help. Bush wants to do something big and great to make her name as an author but as she was writing and (I think) editing this book she did some mistakes. Now I cannot prove this but I do not believe that she had someone edit her book who does not care about how she feels. Now I do not mean in the way 'Oh this is another human being with feelings and a life and so on and so forth'. I mean someone who is willing to tell her where the problems in the book are. The biggest problem in the book is word choice. Normally I would never question an author's right to have anything in their books that they want but in this case I do. The reasons are these. The setting to be a victorian-like steampunk world, so some words would not be in the character's dialog. For example when Chenda has a vision and her husband visits her to help with some plot questions he kisses her. No problem but when the two other main male characters are asking her about this they describe it as 'Yummy sounds.' Just let that sink in. Bush does that very bad word choice happen again and again. Next problem she uses contractions in description paragraphs. Never, ever use contractions in the non-dialog parts of the story. Ever. Next Chenda gets too much power. By that I mean she is a human god by the end of the book. It is plot based but it is just too much and she does nothing for this power. It is her literally god given right. Not good. But I think that again is because Bush is trying to make herself known by doing something too big too soon. Bush is just trying too hard and it shows. I want to like this book but I really cannot. There are too many mistakes. In addition I truly feel that this is a Mary Sue. Everyone loves the heroine. The only people we meet who do not are only on scene for just a moment to try and kill her, fail, and then die for trying. I feel bad about this review, I really do; but if I said anything less or else I would be lying. As always, dear reader, do not take my word for it. Go to amazon or your library and read it for yourself. I may just not be the intended reader or have the needed mindset to enjoy this book.

I give this one star because it really needs help. I get nothing for this review and I bought this book. Sadly.