How She Died, How I Lived

Today's post is on How She Died, How I Lived by Mary Crochett. It is 396 pages long and is published by Little, Brown and Co. The cover is black with five candles and one has been blown out. The intended reader is someone who is interested in dealing with complex emotions, young adults growing up, and other hard issues. There is foul language, talk of sex and sexuality, and discussions of violence in this novel. The story is told from first person close of the main character Lindsey. There Be Spoilers Ahead.

From the back of the book- I was one of five. The five girls Kyle texted that day. The girls it could have been. Only Jamie--beautiful, saintly Jamie--was kind enough to respond. And it got her killed.
On the eve of Kyle's sentencing a year after Jamie's death, all the other "chosen ones" are coping in various ways. But our tenacious narrator is full of anger, stuck somewhere between the horrifying past and the unknown future as she tries to piece together why she gets to live, while Jamie is dead.
Now she finds herself drawn to Charlie, Jamie's boyfriend--knowing all the while that their relationship will always be haunted by what-ifs and why-nots. Is hope possible in the face of such violence? Is forgiveness? How do you go on living when you know it could have been you instead?

Review- This is a hard but interesting book to read. It is about violence against women that has no point other than because he can. The book starts after everything is done with Kyle, the killer, in prison and the community trying to make sense of what happened. Lindsay is very depressed dealing with survivors guilt and just trying to make sense of her life after. Why did Kyle do it? Why were any of the girls on his list? What kind of life can Lindsay have now knowing that someone else is dead and she's still alive? This book does not flinch away from this issues and more. It does not feel cheap but more like a genuine search for answers in a chaotic world. I did enjoy this book but it is not for everyone with its dark tones and themes. I found it moving and cathartic at the end of the journey with Lindsay and I have hope for the character, that she will live a life that Jamie would be proud of.

I give this novel a Four out of Five stars. I get nothing for my review and I was given this book as a gift.